MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

Click on the link above to read our Christmas Letter. We love being able to exchange Christmas Cards with many of you but know that we do not have everyone's addresses - so to catch up on our year read if you wish.

DECEMBER

THANKS SANTA!!! Wow. Santa comes through once again. He must have had help from our new friend ELLFFEE - The elf on the shelf we received from the North Pole early in Dec. (highly recommended by the way). The girls got their "girl barbies" and a barbie house and Cam got his Jazz shirt and his wii wishes - along with lots of other things from Mom, Dad, Grandpa and Grandma's. Thanks for all the goods! Sure missed leaving a pile of gifts for Nathan :( but felt very blessed through out the year as we felt the love of the Lord.

NOVEMBER

Victory! We had a great start to our November with my dad winning his "sign race" as Kate called it. It was fun to be involved as a family and see all the support from so many friends. We know he'll do a great job in his new job. Then there was the annual Turkey Bowling on Thanksgiving. Oh what fun!

OCTOBER

Kaitlyn turns 4! She has been loving Belle until about a week before her birthday and then decided she liked Ariel better, but too late I had already been studying up on Beauty and the Beast and lucky for me she loved her cake and gifts from everyone. Something else exciting that happened this month was Jimmy had the opportunity through Zions, to play basketball at the Energy Solutions Arena. Not only did he get to play ball there but Jerry Sloan was his team's coach. It was pretty awesome - he played well and his team won each game and was given a trophy at the end. He enjoyed being on the court, meeting all the coaches and visiting the locker rooms. However, I think the biggest excitement was sharing it with Cam. Those sports fans later went on to attend a BYU game with Cam's cousin Brock and Jimmy's Mom. They had a great time and were able to cheer them on to a victory.



HALLOWEEN FUN. Last year we didn't do themed costumes for Grandma Heidi's - I mean Mrs. Potato Head's party and decided it was more fun when we did. So this year after reading lots of Bernstein Bear books we went as Papa, Momma, Brother, Sister and Honey Bear. Of course the kids got to be what they really wanted on Halloween - they were troopers. Richie and Suzie didn't disappoint this year as they came as characters from Up! Hilarious! For the schools and trick-or-treating we had a Bears Football Player, one of the 12 Dancing Princesses, and a Care Bear. Lots of fun. There was also soccer games and getting ready for the election - even Nathan had a preference....

SEPTEMBER

September....school starts again. Much better luck with first grade for Cam and we all knew Kate would love preschool! The annual Labor Day Olympics at Grandma Heidi's was as fun as always. We even had festive cupcakes for the occasion. More cupcakes were made for our friend Taylor as she turned 7. We love Tay! And proof that our flowers survived the summer yeah!

AUGUST

BEAR LAKE!!!!! We took a fun little weekend to Bear Lake with my fam. We had fun in the sand, on uncle Jeff's boat and on jet ski's - which Cameron loved as long as he got to drive and no one went faster then they would go on their own without pushing the gas - Oh Cam!! We also realized we needed to get out more as I was trying to explain to Cam that he could just go to the bathroom in the water. He went out far enough and then proceeded to pull down his shorts (not necessary) and giving everyone coming back on a boat a real show.

JULY

July was field with lots of fun with breakfast in the canyons for the 4th, sleepover with cousins, swimming, celebrating a friends 30th, a "sleepout" in the backyard (ya I know we really know how to rough it), a photo shoot infront of some sunflowers planted in honor of Nathan, running through the sprinklers in a snow hat? - because the water was cold...?, and discovering mom's point shoes. The most exciting news this month was finding out we are pregnant again! Scary but very Grateful!!!!

JUNE

Abbi turned 2 this month. We celebrated by going to the Zoo with Grandma and Grandpa. Riding the train was a hit and Abbi let us know when she was done by just laying down next to the kangaroo's. She was spoiled with a new bike and playhouse and many other gifts and we enjoyed some "little bug" cupcakes. For Father's Day this year Kaitlyn was set on getting her dad a big cookie she saw at the mall in Mrs. Fields window. I had thought she forgot about it but was wrong as at 8pm Father's Day eve she remembered and we did the best we could to make our own. Not bad? Ended the month with a trip to Lagoon - a first for our kids and for sure not the last. They loved it - especially Kate who went on anything and everything she was tall enough for and loved it all.

MAY

This month brought us a "magic birthday" with Cam turning six on the sixth. Playing at the park again and of course baseball every chance we got. Saying good bye to Kindergarten and Mrs. Harrie by making cute apple cupcakes, and visiting the new headstone of Nathan J on Memorial Day. The words "set in stone" were all the more heart wrenching as it made the passing of our Nathan very real. We were pleased with how it turned out and are happy we have a special place to visit.

APRIL

April was spent doing easter, Spring Break with Grandma & Grandpa at Little America, and a little battle wound playing basketball with the cousins. At least Cam had lost his front tooth the day before or he would have that day. The most fun event though would have had to of been Jimmy's half Marathon. He was a bit worried going into it with a sore I.T. Band, not being able to train as much has he hoped. But none the less finnished strong and faster then predicted. He contributes that to his little angel helping along the way. Cam also ran the kids portion of the race and did a great job as well. We were proud of our little runners. Also, the Easter Bunny made an extra stop this year for our little Nathan. We miss him!

AS WE LAYED HIM DOWN

This year's Easter post is much more meaningful, as you can see there are no kids hunting for eggs, eating candy or even having our annual water gun fight in the living room (although all those things did happen). The majority of this year's Easter was spent in reflection and appreciation for the Resurrection and the sacrifice of a Son. We were grateful for General Conference and the added peace we felt as we were able to draw from so many wonderful talks.

On March 6, 2010 we were able to lay our sweet Nathan to rest with Jimmy's dad. This was very special for us and gives us the added assurance that he is truly taken care of. The service was very nice and the spirit was strong as we were joined by family and friends. These beautiful photo's were taken by a great friend who we appreciate so much for allowing us to be in the moment and capturing all the emotions that went on that day.(Thanks Rachelle - these mean more to us than you will ever know.)

OUR LITTLE ANGEL

This video was done by an amazing friend who was able to capture Nathan's sweet essence. Please make sure your speakers are on, as the song is so appropriate for our little Nathan.

Some of you may already know this, but we wanted to share our story of the events of the past week. Our sweet little Nathan J Clark was delivered still born on March 3rd. I was 40 weeks and had heard a strong heartbeat the previous week. On March 2nd I was very emotional and couldn't stop crying. At the time I thought I must just have been tired and ready for my baby to be born. I continued to be worried through the night and the next morning was wondering the last time I had felt my baby move. I was two weeks early with my girls and didn't remember what it felt like to be 40 weeks along and knew my baby was big and did not have much room to move around. As the morning went on I grew more anxious and asked Jimmy to come to my scheduled final doctors appointment. As the doctor laid his fetal heart doppler on my belly, there was no sound. Immediately I knew my fears were a reality and my day was not going to be as planned. He followed with an ultrasound where it was confirmed that indeed the heart was not beating. We were taken down to labor and delivery where I would have to deliver this sweet baby. The labor was slow in comparison to my other three children and time seemed to be moving in slow motion. We were quickly surrounded by family and were shown great love and support from the hospital and nurses. Although we were in shock, we felt a sense of comfort and knew this was the will of our Heavenly Father. We went through many emotions and couldn't believe we were parents of a perfect child who just needed us to provide him with a mortal body so he could return and do the work of our Father in Heaven. The hardest part throughout our day was trying to figure out how to tell our children, especially Cameron. We knew he would understand and be our example of simple faith, and we were right. At 6:00, after one small push, our 8 lb 13 oz. 21 1/2 inch long baby boy was placed in our arms. Although there were many tears, there was a great spirit that filled that room. There was nothing that indicated to the doctor that there was something wrong with our baby. There was no cord entanglement of any kind, the placenta looked healthy, and he looked absolutely perfect. The doctor thinks that Nathan had passed away in the prior 24 36 hours, based on how good he looked. Just about the time I had felt extra emotional the day before. I truly believe I know when his heart stopped. After a brief explanation to Cameron, we brought our kids in and were able to enjoy time together as a family of six. We explained that this baby would not be coming home with us, but instead had gone home to be with our Heavenly Father. Cameron took comfort that he was with Jimmy's Dad and knew he was having fun and being taken care of. We were able to keep Nathan with us for almost 24 hours. At first, we were not sure if we wanted to hold him for that long, but looking back, are grateful for that time. There were some very special, sacred moments that we were able to share together as a couple with our baby that day. Leaving the hospital was one of the hardest things we have ever done. It felt like a piece of our hearts was left there that day. We're grateful for the gospel and the knowledge that we will see our sweet little Nathan again. It brings much more meaning to our anniversary(today) and are grateful for the chance to be sealed in the temple so that he is ours forever. We are thankful to so many of you, for your kindness and prayers. We have truly felt them and have been carried through this experience. How nice it is to have our three wonderful children at home to bring perspective to life. Cameron has reminded us that we are lucky to have had a brother die because now we have an angel to watch over us.

TU TU DAY (2.2.2010) TAKE TWO

Last years "tu tu" day was so fun, I was determined to make this a tradition - so even though I was 35 weeks pregnant and had a very grumpy daughter who must have known it was tu tu day because it was the ONLY day she didn't want to put on a tu tu - we pushed through. Thanks to good friends we had a good time with yummy treats, a fun movie and yes a dance taught by a "too too" pregnant mom. Cam was a good sport while we played with his friends he played with his wii and was a great audience member when we needed to perform.